“I love you” – but how?
For Advent and Christmas season, we want to show our loved ones especially that and how much we love them. For months, pending visits are done and spent quality time together with music and lights bill. We decorate our homes festive, invite friends and family to prepare in the kitchen the perfect dinner to laugh, talk and celebrate with each other. Above all, we give presents to each other to express our affection and love one another and to make the other happy. Weeks before the big day, the shopping malls are overcrowded, the busy parcel services, stressed the buyers and the heads of smoking – which is the perfect gift for the (law) parents, siblings, partner, best friend … From homemade photo book to huge flat screen TV, and more – the festival of love is the feast of gifts. But what we do the rest of the year? As we show our loved ones our love? That there are more ways than to bestow to each other, show the “Five Love Languages”. They describe not a couple sundae with five different flavors of ice cream or a special Kamasutra technique, but my five different ways to show his love in partnerships and to feel loved. Coined the term the American couple consultant Gary Chapman.
And if you’re wondering now, what exactly this “love languages” should be, we give you a brief insight and overview.
1) praise and recognition – “You look great today again”
People who speak this love language, to feel loved by appreciative, approving or encouraging words and give this also liked to loved ones on. Compliments and kind words are here the (communication) tool of choice, but also polite requests play a role in this love language.
2) Togetherness – “together instead of side by side”
An intense time together and spending time together are very important for people with this love language. The aim is give the other his undivided attention and respect each other. Deep dialogues and joint ventures are the basis of this love language.
3) Gifts – “Not only at Christmas”
Here it does not come in shape, color, or size to finance – for people who prefer gifts as a love language, gesture and thought behind it are important. Whether the expensive Rolex or homemade photo book are reasonable, everyone must decide for themselves. Gifts show love very practical and hands-on. A gift, however, can not be bought but often much more valuable than all others: our presence. For the partner to be there when you’re needed, is priceless.
4) helpfulness – “Take your help but”
Mutually help, is often seen especially in relationship for granted. The distribution of roles is usually clear quickly or is taken from the parental home. For
Thanking assistance is quickly considered superfluous. Of course, some tasks are clearly defined due to different abilities of men and women. Still, there are people for whom it is a very special expression of love, to help each other and not look at this as a matter of course.
5) tenderness – “A kiss is worth a thousand words”
Tenderness is probably to show for many one of the most intuitive and obvious way, love and to feel loved. People with this primary love language pay close attention to touches, however small they may be, and appreciate physical closeness and affection.
This brief overview is by no means exhaustive, because like in any language, there are also in the love languages nor different “dialects” and sub-forms and people may also prefer more love languages. But once back at Christmas. Maybe they can also help this time of love making actually so harmonious and contemplative, as it is always suggested to us in advertising the Five Love Languages. Because gifts are all well and good.
* Translated with Google.